I had a conversation with a friend the other day who was expressing how hard it is to feel “enough” - pretty enough, skinny enough, successful enough, healthy enough, happy enough- in this day and age. Since when did we as a society decide that everyone had to keep up with the Joneses? Back in the day, the Joneses were just that one family in the neighborhood... Now, the Joneses are every person you see on social media, around the world. But why do we feel the need to keep up?
Why is is that even though we intellectually know that the standards and portrayals of “life” in society and on social media are fabricated, edited, and/or filtered, we still compare our behind the scenes to other people’s highlight reels. It’s like taking a rough draft essay written by an amateur writer and comparing it to a New York Times best selling novel. The rough draft is exactly that - a rough draft, it has yet to be edited, tweaked, refined, and polished, and the author may have less experience and formal training. Or, comparing apples to oranges. Both are fruit, both are sweet and delicious, but, they are two different fruits - they’re consumed differently, they have different textures, flavors, functions, nutrients, colors, and DNA. It’s unrealistic, unhealthy, and unsatisfactory.
We compare ourselves to each other for various reasons and often times it’s a subconscious pattern. Because we’ve been doing it so long and so frequently, it becomes engrained in our minds as a natural function, similar to putting our pants on in the morning - we don’t think too much about it, we just do it. However, unlike dressing yourself in the morning, comparing yourself to others can be extremely detrimental. When we “size up the competition”, we’re telling our brains that it’s okay to be above someone, or that it’s not okay when we don’t measure up to the “standard". (p.s. this is not unique to just social media, we do this everyday IRL too)
So, how do we break this habit and prevent ourselves from diving into a deep depression or skyrocketing into high levels of anxiety?
The answer may seem too simple, but it really isn’t complicated… We must focus our time, energy, and attention on ourselves and our own health. What you focus on becomes your reality - if you constantly focus on how you are not enough, then you will never feel satisfied. However, if you focus on where you’re at in your life, all you’ve accomplished up to this point, every obstacle you’ve overcome, your progress, your goals, and your purest form of joy and fulfillment, then you will have a very different set of emotions. We must be content with ourselves, accept where we’re at in our journeys and progress, and accept that who were are today is a reflection of our thoughts, emotions, and actions. This acceptance leads to true growth and becoming who we we’re supposed to be.
Our past does not have to be our present or our future. You have the power within you to enhance the quality of your life. Once you recognize that unrealistic expectations and standards don’t serve you, shift your focus and your level of joy and contentment will rise like the cream of the crop.